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JUST A DOG

yellab
From time to time, people tell me, "lighten up,it's just a dog,"
or, "that's a lot of money for just a dog."
hey don't understand the distance traveled, the time spent,
or the costs involved for
"just a dog."

Some of my proudest moments have come about with "just a dog."
Many hours have passed and my only company was "just a dog,"
but I did not once feel slighted.

Some of my saddest moments have been brought about by "just a dog,"
and in those days of darkness, the gentle touch of "just a dog"
gave me comfort and reason to overcome the day.

If you, too, think it's "just a dog,"
then you will probably understand phrases like
"just a friend," "just a sunrise," or "just a promise."

"Just a dog" brings into my life the very essence offriendship, trust,
and pure unbridled joy.
"Just a dog" brings out the compassion and patience that makes me a better person.

Because of "just a dog", I will rise early, take long walks
and look longingly to the future.
So for me and folks like me, it's not "just a dog"
but an embodiment of all the hopes and dreams of the future,
the fond memories of the past, and the pure joy of the moment.
"Just a dog" brings out what's good in me and
diverts my thoughts away from myself and the worries of the day.
I hope that someday they can understand that it's not "just a dog",
but the thing that gives me humanity and keeps me from being "just a man or woman."

So the next time you hear the phrase "just a dog",
just smile -- because they "just don't understand."
Author Unknown


Inner Strength

If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when people take things out on you when,
through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can do all these things,
Then you are probably the family dog!


finncurl














My Life as a Dog: A Diary


1st week: Today I am one week old. What a joy to be part of this World!
1 month: My mother takes very good care of me. She's really an exemplary mother.
2 months: Today I was separated from my mother. She was very restless and with her eyes bade me good-bye. I hope my new human family will take as good care of me as she has.
4 months: I have grown very rapidly, everything attracts my attention.
There are several children in the house who are like little brothers to me.
We play a lot, they pull on my tail and I give them little bites in good fun.
5 months Today: I was yelled at. My mistress was all upset because I peed inside the house but I was never told where exactly I should do it. I also sleep in the hall. I was very unhappy about that!
8 months: I am a very happy dog! I have the warmth of a home, I feel so safe, so protected... I think that my human family loves me. The courtyard is all mine and, oftentimes, I exceed myself, digging the ground like my ancestors, the wolves, to hide the food. They never try to teach me anything. It must be all right then, all these things I am doing!
12 months Today: I am one year old. I am an adult dog. But my masters say that I have grown more than they had expected. How proud they must be of me!
13 months Today: I was tied up. I was almost unable to move, to catch a sunbeam when I feel cold, or to shade myself when the sun is on high. They say they are going to observe me and that I am ungrateful. I don't understand a thing of what is happening to me.
15 months: All is changed now... They keep me locked up in the veranda. I feel very lonely. My human family doesn;t want me any more. Sometimes they forget that I am thirsty and hungry. When it rains, I don't have a roof above my head...
16 months: Today they removed me from the veranda. I was sure that my human family had forgiven me. I was so happy that I was leaping with excitement. My tail was working like a fan. What's more, I thought they were going to take me for a walk!!! We took the direction of the highway and, all of a sudden, they stopped the car, opened the door and I got out, happy, thinking that we would spend the day in the country. I don't understand why they closed the door and left. Listen, wait! I barked. They have forgotten me... I run after the car with all my strength. My anguish grew as I started to understand, as I was out of breath and they were not stopping, that they had abandoned me! 17 months: I looked in vain for the way back home. I am alone and feel lost. On my wanderings, I meet some people with a good heart who look at me with sorrow and give me some food. I thank them with my eyes, from the bottom of my soul. I wish they would adopt me. I would be loyal like none before me! But they just say: poor little dog, it must be lost. 18 months: Some days ago, I went by a school and saw many children and youngsters like my little brothers. I got closer and a group of those youngsters, laughing, threw a shower of stones at me, just to see who would aim best. One of those stones hit me in one eye and, since, I can't see at all with it.
19 months: It's incredible. When I was better looking, people took pity on me. I am very week now, and look awful. I've lost one eye, and people show me the broom when I try to rest in the shade somewhere.
20 months: I find it increasingly difficult to move. Today, while trying to cross the street, I was hit by a car. I was in the pedestrian crossing zone, but I will never forget the satisfied look of the driver, who even praised himself for having hit me. I wish he had indeed killed me! But he only dislocated my hind legs! The pain is insufferable! The legs are not obeying me, and only with great difficulty was I able to drag myself to the grass on the roadside. For ten days I have been exposed to the burning sun, the hard rain, the cold, without food. I can no longer move. The pain is insufferable. I am in a very humid place, and it looks like that even my hair is falling out. Some passers-by do not even notice me; others say: don't come any closer. I am almost unconscious, but a bit of strength from deep inside forces me to open my eyes. The sweetness of her voice made me react. Poor little dog, look how they have left you, it was saying. With her was a man in a white apron who touched me and said: I am sorry, lady, but this dog won't make it. It's better to help him out of his suffering. The kind lady, tears flowing down her cheeks, acquiesced. As well as I could, I moved my tail and thanked her, with my eyes, for helping me to finally rest in peace. While I was feeling the slight prickle of the needle, before that long lasting sleep, my last thought was: why did I have to be born, if no one wanted me.
Friends, The solution is not to abandon or cast away a dog, but to educate him. Do not turn into a problem for society such a lovable and grateful animal.

Tray's Poem - by Leslie Whalen

One by one, they pass by my cage,
'Too old', 'Too worn', 'Too broken', 'No way'.
'Way past his time, he can't run and play'.
Then they shake their heads slowly and go on their way.

A little old man, arthritic and sore,
It seems I am not wanted anymore.

I once had a home, I once had a bed,
A place that was warm, and where I was fed.
Now my muzzle is grey, and my eyes slowly fail.
Who wants a dog so old and so frail?

My family decided I didn't belong,
I got in their way, my attitude was wrong.
Whatever excuse they made in their head,
Can't justify how they left me for dead.

Now I sit in this cage, where day after day,
The younger dogs get adopted away.

When I had almost come to the end of my rope,
You saw my face, and I finally had hope.
You saw thru the grey, and the legs bent with age,
And felt I still had life beyond this cage.

You took me home, gave me food and a bed,
And shared your own pillow with my poor tired head.
We snuggle and play, and you talk to me low,
You love me so dearly, you want me to know.

I may have lived most of my life with another,
But you outshine them with a love so much stronger.
And I promise to return all the love I can give,
To you, my dear person, as long as I live.

I may be with you for a week, or for years,
We will share many smiles, you will no doubt shed tears.
And when the time comes that God deems I must leave,
I know you will cry and your heart, it will grieve.

And when I arrive at the Bridge, all brand new,
My thoughts and my heart will still be with you.
And I will brag to all who will hear,
Of the person who made my last days so dear.


Labrador Haiko

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You will ever be.

Today I sniffed
Many dog behinds - I celebrate
By kissing your face.

How do I love thee?
The ways are as numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot - no greater bliss - well,
Maybe catching cats

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much as I do.

Dig under the fence-why?
Because it is there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating. chocwag







prayer

Dear God,
Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God,
When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
Dear God,
Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog?

How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God,
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God,
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God,
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God,
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?

Dear God,
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?


Dear God,
Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog:
I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food.
The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello.
I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
I will not throw up in the car.
I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet
The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

Dear God,
May I have my testicles back?


writes

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
-Anonymous


Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
- Ann Landers

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
- Will Rogers

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
- Ben Williams

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
- Josh Billings

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
- Andy Rooney

We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare, and in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
- M. Acklam

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
- Sigmund Freud

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
- Rita Rudner

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
- Robert Benchley

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
- Franklin P. Jones

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
- James Thurber

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.
-Unknown

Ever consider what our dogs must think of us?
I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul, chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
- Anne Tyler

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
- Mark Twain

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'
- Dave Barry

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
- Roger Caras

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.
- Phil Pastoret

My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am.



writes

Labrador Dictionary



BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.

BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

BUMP: The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a cup of tea.

DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects Labs when their person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.

DOG BED: any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered sofa in the living room.

DROOL: what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor or, better yet, on their laps.

LEAN: Every good Lab's response to the command "sit!", especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.

LEAD: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.

LOVE: Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a human will love you in return.

SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply. Repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop.

SOFAS: are to Labs like napkins are to people. After eating, it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.

THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.

WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old sweet wrappers. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home.


Letter to My Animals

Dear Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note that placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not mean it becomes your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm and disrespect.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or stick your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. I have been using the bathroom for years--canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt,NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Always Complain About Our Pets

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture .)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours, and does not speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
Eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called,never drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

laughdog











A woman brought a very limp duck into a vet. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your duck has passed away."
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm quite sure. The duck is dead," he replied.
"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.
As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat.
The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.
"150!", she cried. "150 just to tell me my duck is dead?"
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry."
"If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been 20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now 150."

doglaugh








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